Lyrics to Hostage Of Love :
You make yourself a prisoner of me
You blind yourself so you don't have to see
You turn your life to a power above
And make yourself a hostage of love

You turn from me, you turn from the strain
Devote yourself to the power again
Distance yourself from what we avowed
You broke the rules, your my hostage now

I am a sinner
I am a saint
I am a devil
I am the ghost at the wake
I feed the swell and pull
Of your tears as they break
I am the limit of
The load you can take

You are the pulley
And I am the winch
I am salvation
Am your herald of sin
I take you beyond
Your limits of trust
Ransom yourself
Hostage of love

You say you have been born again
Since you slept there in that liar's den,
You cannot be saved
You gave your innocence away

I've turned my cheek
And I've suffered the blow
The truth of my story
Is widely unknown
Words of derision I have
Swallowed with a smile
For telling my story
I have been crucified

Now like a madman
I give my laurels to you
And like a hero
Forsake my trophies for you
Though a deciple of this devil
That is in our blood
Am I not also
Your hostage of love?

You say You've got to live alone
Though it hurts, You'll make it on your own

You say you have been born again...

You will remain a hostage of love

Yes; from Razorlight, a Hostage of Love. This resonates so true to me (especially given recent relations), so familiar to the words I used so ineptly I fear now in my poems. This song captures the feel, both from the heart and the head so well. If anyone reading this has ever been in love and fell foul of love's darker side then they'll have an empathy with it like me.

From a slightly wiser, slightly older and slightly more cautious Th3-F4ll3n.

They cannceled Firefly, now Sarah Connor Chronicles. I beg you dear reader, send them an e-mail, show them your anger.

And try these sites petitions too! Fox and the world must know these shows rock!

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In other news; Gurkha's seem to have won! Thank fuck, but it's not a win for democracy and liberty, it's a sign that unless u put a fucking fire under the seats of members of our goverment they really just plain don't care. Disgusting truths, especially when u look at current scandals in our hopelessly defunct uk govemrent. Rotten wood needs smashing out and redoing. But the chance of it happening without some sort of conflict is doubtful.

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This really hits home I think to the ethos of humnaity. "I want something good to die for; To make it beautiful to live." For the same reasons as the 'do we need denial to be happy' in my previous journal. Now enough emo talk; I'm going V Festival!! (UK rock concert) Anyone else? I'm also still writing my fourth book and recently finished 3 lines of whats beginning to become another poem, in a similar vein to most my other poems.

Finally; their is word around that Fox might cancel the amazing Terminator Sarah Conner Chronicles series, which saddens me greatly. This program as been educational in just how familar we've become with technology, and how easilly it could evolve and replace us. Send a letter to Fox if you feel like me, and tell them to give it another season.

Yes its that time of year, a new year. And its about this time the lack of a love life brings around the big questions about life.

As an agnostic I find this statement intriguing. "Everyone requires denial to find happiness" Belief in god, in flawless love, in your own government. Now this isn't without thought, find someone who believes whole heartedly that their god exists, or their love is perfect or even that their country/ government is the best in the world, and you will find them happy. So essentially, I'm miserable for knowing the full extent of humanity; if I was a thick chav (yokel for you western readers) I could achieve happiness. Theirs a wonderfully bitter irony to that isn't their? Know the truth, or be happy? Anyone else think this is a Matrix pill style conundrum?

Big brother conspiracy's consist of an all inclusive database listing details of everyones lives and wherabouts. Facebook; a list of about 80% of the people in the west, with a list of details and their whereabouts. Hmmmm...

Now if the goverment had asked people to join that, their'd have been trouble and disent. A free social networking business, and just about everyone joins. Funny isn't it.